Larger Than Life 3D - Movie Review

Here's what I learned from watching Gogol Bordello, Ben Harper & Relentless 7 and Dave Matthews Band in stunning 360 degree 3D on the big screen.

1. Gogol Bordello (left) are nuts. Just nuts.

2. Ben Harper's drummer needs to either drop a couple of pounds, or start wearing bigger shirts.

3. Dave Matthews sweats from back to front. But it doesn't really matter, after four songs he looks like he jumped in a swimming pool with his clothes on anyway.

Many reviewers took the position that 3D was totally unnecessary for this concert movie. Maybe. But it's still pretty cool. The technology really has gotten better, and you really do feel like you're there. And in this instance, "there" isn't in the audience, it's right up "there" with the band. I kept waiting to get tackled by security and hauled off the stage. When there was a shot from the audience perspective, you definately felt "there", too. When a beach ball came sailing past, I ducked.

Oh, and the trailer for "Avatar" in 3D is worth the price of admission all by itself, so you're covered.

My Pro-Kitchen Thanksgiving

My wife Joni loves working with Bono (not THAT Bono, the chef Bono, pronounced Bone-Oh) and Georgia, owners of Cielo Blu Restaurant in Carlton. Once again this Thanksgiving Cielo Blu was dedicated exclusively to serving Turkey Dinners with all the handmade trimmings, free to all comers, with donations cheerfully accepted to benefit Joseph's Storehouse and Share and Care -- two local food banks serving families in need in the towns of Yamhill and Carlton.

Executive Chef Bono was in the kitchen before sunrise, seasoning and roasting a plethora of plump poultry. There was hand made cranberry-orange sauce, freshly mashed red potatoes and toasted walnut & cranberry & apple stuffing. For desert -- the most amazing pumpkin pie ever, baked and donated by Tony of Quetal Creations (tonimacaroni123@msn.com).

My role in all of this: washing dishes. Lots and lots of dishes. And pots and pans -- including the ever popular "hotel pans" (like a casserole pan, only the size of an eastern seaboard state with baked-on foodstuff. Think Rhode Island that's been simmering gravy all afternoon). And glasses, coffee cups, silverware, ladles, cutting boards, and all the other various Land-Of-The-Giants cooking implements that are part of everyday pro-kitchen life in a real restaurant.

The last time I did this kind of work professionally it was legal to smoke in restaurants, so I was happy at least to find there were no cigarette butts on the plates buried in the leftover mashed potatoes.

We really didn't know how busy we would be, so Bono's regular crew was standing by, donating their time, letting us volunteer amatures trip over each other, but in case we got really busy, they could snap into action. Caesar, the regular dishwasher, turned over his space and let me figure it out, and maybe there was just a little twinkle in his eye as he was dropping off piles of dishes he didn't have to wash. He gave me a hearty handshake at the end of the evening, after I'd scrubbed the bejesus out of all those hotel pans and put them back where they belonged. There was a twinkle in his eye then, too, so maybe I did OK.

By closing time, $622 was raised for the food banks, a good time was had by all, and my delicate DJ hands could use a little moisturizer.

Guess What We're Doing This Weekend

I'll Say This for the Tomato Crop This Year - It's Got Range

M'Kay?

Them's the Rules

If a woman is wrong and she admits it, the man is obliged to graciously drop the matter.

If a man is wrong and he admits it, the woman is obliged to graciously spend the next two days exploring every minute detail and possible permutation of his wrongness and rank it in a comparative historical timeline of his prior wrongs, with an emphasis on how it made her feel.

Hey, I don't make the rules.

Neilsen Family Values

I don’t know what made me think of this episode of Family Affair, and at first I wasn’t sure if it was real, or if I’d imagined it.

Oh, it’s real alright. The classic “Weekend Hippie” episode, officially titled “Flower Power”

I hadn’t actually seen an episode of Family Affair since I was a kid myself, and the show was still in its original pre-ironic state.

Here it is, in three part harmony. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

It got me to thinking about 50s and 60s TV sitcoms in general, though.

There’s been plenty of fuss about sitcoms from the 50s promoting unrealistic stereotypes. The white picket fences, the two parent households, the coat and tie dad solving all problems within 24 minutes, June Cleaver’s tasteful and understated string of pearls while washing dishes, that sort of thing.

But how did that lead to the unprecedented spouse-slaughter of the 60s Sitcom?

The Courtship of Eddie’s Father – starring Bill Bixby as the widowed architect raising a precocious young son.

Julia - at least Diahann Carroll's backstory came with some glory. She was a widowed single mother because her fighter-pilot husband had been shot down in Vietnam. I still remember the promo for this series, where she says on the phone to her prospective boss (gruff old white guy Lloyd Nolan) "I think you should know that I'm colored." And he says "What color are you?" Big laughs! The 60s!

The Brady Bunch, one show – two dead spouses. Carol Brady’s first husband’s demise was implied, but never explained. The original script called for her to be a divorcee, but the network wouldn’t stand for it.

Not much was ever said about the man who sired The Partridge Family, either, but evidently the strain of producing five musical prodigies in a row put him six feet under.

And then, of course, Family Affair. Both parents tragically dead in a car accident, three children sent to live with a gruff and reluctant bachelor uncle and his aloof British manservant in a luxury Manhattan penthouse. I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when they were pitching this one to the network.

So in the 50s, kids were left wondering “How come my mom never wears pearls at dinner?”

But in the 60s and 70s, kids were left wondering “How come I’m saddled with two parents bossing me around? And a different set of parents on holidays and alternate weekends? And how come my step-sister doesn’t look anything like Marcia Brady?”

Two Shows on Sunday

I've got that new song from Regina Spektor stuck in my head this weekend. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it. Here's the video.

Of Dragons and Garden Peas

When Les Sarnoff first told me that his cancer had returned and he was going to take a leave of absence for treatment, I remembered this article I'd heard about.

Published in March of 1981, it was written by Alice Trillin, the wife of one of my favorite writers, Calvin Trillin, after she was diagnosed with lung cancer. The essay was based on a talk she gave to medical students at Cornell and Albert Einstein Medical schools, and it is included in the curriculum at many medical schools to this day, to give students a patient's perspective of a cancer diagnosis.

I really wanted Les to have it.

To my horror, I discovered that it is impossible to find on the internet. I couldn't even purchase it from the New England Journal of Medicine, where it was originally published. I found lots of references to it, all singing it's praises, but no copies of the full article.

It drove me crazy. Of all the content that's at your fingertips online, from Shakespeare to kitties falling into fish tanks -- THIS is nowhere to be found?

Finally I gave up on the internet, and started calling. I called libraries, universities, hospitals all over Oregon. And finally, I found it -- in the archives of Providence Cancer Center, the very place where Les was getting treatment.

With many thanks to Amy Roth and Diane Wiesner...
Here it is.

Shadow Art Made From Garbage

Here's a medium for art that doesn't get much notice. But the materials are sure available. Get some bright lights, head to the nearest landfill, and get creative.

Here's a link to some more examples...